Angels' Guardian
by UpsideDownRainbow
Summary: There's an ancient myth that reveals to all those that have read or heard it before of a guardian-a guardian for the angels. The angels have been left to watch after themselves along with facing the consequences of the serious decisions they were forced to make. Olivia wakes up unexpectedly to find herself in the Supernatural world, and she plays a bigger role than she believes.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I hate to say it, but this is my first fanfic. L Please, don't my work so quickly. I would really appreciate suggestions, advice, and any sort of help…**

** And, yes, this kind of story has been on the rise. :p Sorry, if you're sick of seeing and reading this. I will try to keep it interesting! Oh, and I might slip of my own self into it, but if it seems like the character seems too bleh or lacking that, I feel you-ness then tell me. I will try to flesh her out? :p**

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**Chapter 1:**_ Dream or Reality?_

"Bye, Tom. Don't forget to lock up. G'night, see you tomorrow," I waved a small goodbye before I headed out home. I am excited to just go home and relax. This week has been exhausting with how busy it was, but I can't complain. I need this 'glamorous' job of a waitress to support my oh-so passionate yearning to learn, which is sort of true. I can't achieve my dreams without some money along the way. Oh, the joys of educational expenses.

Maybe, once I get home, I can read some stories online or just be lazy and watch some movies. I am not in the mood to be an early bird. Sure, would I save myself some stress and time? Of course, but I am too tired. Laziness beats the 'must to-do's.' Maybe, I can read that trilogy my friend has recommended with the angels… I think it was _Hush, Hush_. I do love angels… Like Castiel from _Supernatural_.

Hm, on a second thought, I should watch some _Supernatural _episodes instead. I do miss the show, even though I wouldn't be watching new content it would still be awesome to watch it anyway… I think, watching it from the very beginning will be better. It's always cool to see little details I haven't seen before or having a better understanding of it since I already know what's to come. Besides, seeing some characters again that have died and that have grown to love, oh, that wouldn't be so bad. Yup, that's what I'll do.

I couldn't help but let my mind wander off, and then the footsteps abruptly stopped me. Unfortunately, I'm a bit too paranoid, but these footsteps sound too _close_. Unless, the person is walking like some giant or stomping down the street then I am pretty certain that my danger radar is right, and it's telling me to walk as fast as Speedy Gonzales.

_Oh, of course_, yes, footsteps, please, just sound speed up on me. I just **_love_** how you sound so ϋber close to me. I start to walk even faster, and my legs are burning. My breathing is coming out in short pants, and I am trying to take up some lungsful worth of air for my burning aching lungs. Maybe, just maybe, I shouldn't be eating all those cookies and goodies and taking a nap afterwards all the time… Exercise actually sounds very appealing right now because at least I would be able to walk faster and father with much more ease and less pain.

Of all the nights to die, this is the night I am going to die. I try to live each day the way I want without regrets, but I kind of, you know, planned to live just a _tiny bit _longer. These pesky dreams seem to take some time, and call me selfish; but I planned to hoard up some years and live for a long time… I really didn't accomplish or do everything that I wanted to do… Wait, are these going to be my last thoughts? No, shouldn't they sound sophisticated? Wise? Cool? Something awesome?

No, no, wait a second, what am I doing? Already accepting my death? I am not dead yet, and I am not planning to, or at least I won't be so submissive. I will give my all, which might not be much; but at least, I will be happy knowing I tried…

Hey, wait, is that man… Is he making a sigil? Seriously, in my possibly last moments of my life, I am thinking about _Supernatural._ Maybe, I am too obsessed, but I can't help myself. My eyes are not deceiving me. My eyes and I have a pretty good relationship, and they have been very faithful to me. What I see is a sigil, and he's quickly and feverishly finishing it up as if he also is being chased. Should I follow closely behind? Something's telling me that I should go check it out…

Why would I though? He's doing it in a deserted alley, and it's nighttime. I'm already running from someone who might enjoy my screams or whimpers before I die. Why would I go get myself into another dangerous situation? Feelings are not always supposed to be trusted and followed. My mind, the logical part of me, and the part that I have to listen to is telling me that dark deserted alleys aren't always the way to go…Yet, something, the stupid, adventurous, and possibly daring part of me, is telling me to just go. It's so strong, and I can't ignore it…

Hell, why not. Throw sanity out of the window because I obviously don't care about it, especially not in my last moments. Gee, not only will I die with a possible crazy killer that's closely pursing me, but I will also die because of my damn curiosity. Oh, what's that? I could have lived if I didn't stop to check out that sigil? Oh, really, well, that sigil was just drawing me in, like it was whispering me to, "hey, come by." Boy, am I going to regret this.

I quickly reached the man before he finished, thankfully, I guess, and then this blinding light appeared. My eyes began to feel as if they were burning away. My body began to feel as light as it can be like I was full of nothing but air, but at the same time I felt like my body was being stretched all over to lengths that felt as if my body was being torn apart. Just add a few dashes of dizziness, and well, you have a bit of an unpleasant package… I don't know how long it lasted because all I know is that I was knocked out… I never really had a high tolerance to pain.

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When I woke up, I found myself somewhere unrecognizable. Wasn't I just being chased and about to die because my legs are a sure reminder of all that speed walking almost running… Did I faint out of fear? I never knew I was that weak, not that fainting is weak, but I just didn't know that I reacted like that when I get scared shitless. I was hoping more of those heroic ways when those protagonists from the movies die trying with so much drama and beauty, not fainting the way I did…

Hold up, I am thinking and breathing...Wait, I still have a body that's also still intact, thank goodness. All that pain and feelings of being broken into pieces wasn't real…And, yet, here I am, breathing and still alive… I'm alive, so wait, no one was chasing me and trying to kill me? Oh, so, so, so smooth, Olivia, smooth. The guy probably thought you were a complete nutcase. Well, I do have a little dose of crazy, but everyone does. Still, it doesn't explain why I am here. I am in… the alley, that's the last place I remember. The guy was making a sigil, and then… nothing. As stupid as this sounds, but I have thought stupid thoughts before, so no surprise, this alley feels different. An alley that's the same alley _feels _different, which makes me believe that it really is one whole other alley… Nope, no matter how I say, it won't come out sane. It's just that this alley looks exactly like the same, but it has such a different vibe like it's a different alley. Something feels off, and I am not going to ignore it, even if it doesn't make sense!

Hm, let's apply logic. Two _Chips Ahoy _cookies can look the same, but they are not the same, even though they're both _Chips Ahoy _cookies. They can have minor differences, so maybe this alley has little differences… What would they be though? I mean, I wasn't memorizing the alley when I got there.I never been the most observant person in the whole world, and that definitely wasn't going to suddenly change when I thought that I was going to die.

Then I heard a voice that's so familiar. A voice that I can easily recognize without trouble, but this voice… I wouldn't imagine hearing it now… Why…

"Where did you come from?" I looked up to see the startling blue eyes of an angel. He then paused and then decided to formally introduce himself. "Hello, my name is Castiel," and this angel….Castiel, the Angel of Thursday, lend out his hand to me to help me get up on my feet. I was captivated by his eyes that just looked brighter, and I am pretty sure I am a nutcase now because no dream is this real… Let me just pinch myself and wake up because that's what you do, right? I rather not trying killing myself to wake up because I almost had a close encounter, and ah, yeah, see, I rather not try doing that again. I am just a person who doesn't want another close encounter after just escaping one, and I just woke up… Not the best thing to when I just woke up, but hey, that's just me…

Oh, come on, I pinched myself like 10 times already. I don't get much pleasure from pinching myself. I don't like abusing myself very much. Ugh, wake up. Come on! I don't have all day for this… Wait, dreams don't care about time. Time doesn't exist, or is it some kind of a warped sense of time?

"This is a dream, I am sure, why am I not waking up? Well, it's sort of a nice dream, I mean, excluding the almost death and all… but this is a dream. I have to go to work, and-and-, I was interrupted from my pinching session.

"Why are you pinching yourself?" And, oh, my gosh, that head tilt is even cuter in person. Oh, gosh, those confused eyes and head tilt…

"I-uh, I, um, am dreaming?" He still gave me that confused look. "Because, you know, when you're dreaming, you, uh, pinch yourself to wake up?" And why am I not waking up? Hello, Dream Me, I am done. I love Castiel and all, but this feels off. I would like to wake up and drink some coffee and eat Pop Tarts…

"Dreaming…? You are not dreaming," and then there was less confusion in his eyes. What I saw in his eyes were now filling up with worry, probably for my sanity. "Why would you believe that you are dreaming?" I didn't know what to say or explain myself. I am pretty certain that I am dreaming because this is not real. He is not real. Yet, it seems like I am not the lucid one here. Should I play along? Because I can't come up with a decent not so crazy sounding truth.

"Um, hi, there…Castiel," oh, this is weird, "I, um-," and then I felt a pressure in my mind. It's as if-" Are you reading mind?" What the hell? No need to breach the barriers of my mind. I was going to answer that damn question.

"…," all he gave me was silence. He looked shocked that I knew. "How do you…," he looked he was about to choose his words carefully… Castiel is not a liar, or well, much of a good one. Wait, is this Castiel after the Purgatory craze or before… He still looks too much of his old nice self, no, this is before he got into that mess. Not that he doesn't look troubled, but he looks better.

"Wait, before you say anything…," okay, I am going to temporarily pretend that this is all, "this is real? This world and everything in it… is real? Can you… How can you prove this to me?" I hope I am not falling off the edge of my sanity… How am I able to known people are reading my minds; I definitely don't have the answer to that.

He continued to look at me skeptically. He doesn't trust me, or he can't, won't, whichever the reason I am not trusted. How can I explain myself without sounding crazy? How can I make him believe me?

"You can run through all the tests on me to ensure that I am not, well, anything bad or supernatural. I am human through and through," I give him a small smile and put my hands up to show that I have nothing to use against him.

He lets out a sigh, looked at me with a steady gaze, and I guess he was satisfied with what he saw. He stretched out his to place a hand on my shoulder… And before I can even get excited like a fan girl that Castiel is so near and touching my shoulder, I went through the same crap I went through with the sigil. I felt pain and dizzy, and I just want to curl up in a ball and hug myself.

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Once we reached our destination, I quickly fell down on my knees and I clutched my head. Gosh, this is horrible. How can they move from place to place without a problem? Are they used to it or resistant to the feeling?

"Cass, who's this? You can't just bring people here-," Dean started, but was quickly stopped by Castiel… Dean? The Dean from _Supernatural_, is right in front of me… Right, pretending this is all normal, oh, gosh, how can I pretend that this is normal?

"Dean, I need you to check and make certain that she's not a demon or any other supernatural being," while Castiel said this he gave me a quick wary glance. What? I am not going anywhere. Where can I go? I wouldn't even know how to go through this mystery town…

"Cass, you can't just drop your crap here and expect us to take care it," Dean scowled. Watching them on T.V. is great and all, and I admire their bravery and plain awesomeness; and to be at the receiving end of their glares and anger… Especially, just to be referred as crap by them it's not the greatest thing. I know in their eyes I can be a dangerous monster… Oh, just wait, when I tell you the truth… I am so screwed. I don't know how I am going to get through this, and I just drag my fingers through my hair and let out a sigh; which just resulted in earning an even colder and stonier glare from Dean.

"I am in the middle of a war. I don't have time to… She seems to know who I am and what I am. She knows more than she lets on," another quick glance, "you should keep a watch on her. I have to go," and with that Castiel left with a flutter of his wings.

"Freaking angels," Dean muttered, and then I heard an opening of a door and another familiar voice.

"Hey, Dean, I was able to find out more about our case, and-," he then took notice of me and stopped. He quickly analyzed me, and Dean quickly answered his unspoken question.

"Cass thinks she might be a demon or something. He wants us to run some tests on her to see what she is," and he massaged his temples like I was just some burden, well, I am a burden. Didn't Sam just say that they're on case… Well, when aren't they? They barely have down time. Great, I am just wasting their time, while they could out be there killing that monster and saving lives.

"Look, I am so sorry. I really don't mean to waste your time," I said. I tried to show them how I am sorry them, but they didn't buy it.

"Save it, look, once we're done with this case, if it turns out that you're some sort of monster, I will gank you," Dean said without hesitation. How reassuring. I tried to sneak a quick glance at Sam, who wasn't really giving me the nicest look either.

"Okay, okay, I'll just sit, um," I glanced around seeing where I can sit and found a little table with some chairs, "there." I pointed to what I was referring to and slowly walked over there and sat down. "I promise I will be good and quiet, while you're doing your stuff." I looked down and decided to just zip my mouth. I don't think anything that will come out of my mouth will earn a good response. I heard Sam sigh, and he told Dean what he found about this deceased woman. It turns out that it was quick salt and burn that they had to go through.

When night fell, I was dragged along to the cemetery. Dean started to dig up the grave, while Sam was there to watch over me in case I did anything rash. I wouldn't even dare. I've watched them in action plenty, and I am not stupid. I am slowly starting to believe that this really isn't a dream and more of a reality because no dream of mine will be this gloomy. Dreams are happy, and I am not supposed to feel so exhausted and hungry either. What am I going to do if this is all real? How would I get back home?

Since I am accepting this is reality, I need to figure out how to solve this mess, fast. Having two angry hunters against you, not really good. I took in a deep breath and silently prayed for strength and patience.

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**A/N: Another one? Oh, no! Sorry, anyway, please review! I would appreciate it, and I hope it wasn't too long or boring for you guys. Sorry, if I am dragging things out? If seems like I am going over unnecessary things or rather failing at making these details annoying, then tell me. I won't labor over it!**


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2: 100%(probably) Human_

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The quick salt-and-burn was, well, quick. I know that's a pretty obvious and annoying thing to point. I can get repetitious in my words and thoughts because I am not much of a person who succeeds at thinking before they speak, which also applies in my thoughts. I can think of the dumbest thoughts, and then I am like, oh, no wait, I know that… Sometimes, it's like these thoughts aren't even my own. I don't even know. Anyway, back to the quick salt-and-burn.

Digging, I know, is a pain. It's not a 1, 2, 3 little thing, no, it's tiring and time consuming. Dean didn't exactly take 5 minutes to dig up the grave, but he was pretty quick, digging standards wise. Are there even proper standards for digging? Is there a record for digging the fastest? Well, anyway, from my knowledge of digging, he was pretty awesome. I was getting bored just standing there watching.

I would have felt better if Sam and Dean really weren't giving me off these killer hateful vibes. So, as a fan, I was confused. Sure, I was right there with my favorite characters that are actually real in this universe! Then I felt sad, not only because my favorite characters are seriously having the desire to probably kill me, but because this reality is frightening, painful, and it's just too much. Their reality is tough and they have been living a life full of tough decisions, deaths, and things that no one should go through. They have built the strongest bond that anyone would want to have, but they paid such a great price for that bond to grow and harden.

I was also confused because I didn't know whether I want the time to pass by slowly or quickly. When I am bored and uncomfortable, it's not the best. Time should fly by, and I am a bit worried about the tests. I don't know how many they would make me go through, and I can only predict some. My memories on those details aren't the sharpest. I can remember that key things such as silver that can hurt a monster, but I am not exactly sure which monsters are affected by it… I also am worried about telling them about the fact that I sort know everything about them because their lives are televised as a show… They won't take that lightly or happily, and then how can I even explain that without sounding like a nutjob? It's hard to not sound like one but to also say it in the nicest way possible… Time needed to pass by slowly if I was left to think up something decent...

So, yeah, I was bored and uncomfortable. I don't find standing and watching someone dig that entertaining after a while, and like I said, Dean and Sam want to kind of kill me… so that kills my excitement of being in their presence… Unfortunately, time decided to be so speedy today.

When we returned to their hotel room, which isn't the best hotel room out there; but it's better than sleeping out in the streets. Why do I have to go through all these tests? I am sure that there has to be a faster way. Why would Castiel tell them to test me? Can't he see for himself that I am not anything supernatural?

Can silent prayers work for me? Would he even listen or come? I can try calling him over. If he doesn't listen, then I can tell Dean to call him. I hope he agrees, or may he will be wary of my actions. He will probably wonder why I would want Castiel to check instead… Maybe, they all think I have this huge sinister plan against them to destroy them.

Anyway, let's give this a shot. _Castiel, er, I was wondering if you can come over and check out for yourself whether or not I am a supernatural being. Won't it be faster? I mean, can't you read my mind to see if I am lying. I know you're busy, but this is for Dean and Sam. Well, maybe, mostly Dean because you have such a profound bound with him all, right? So, Castiel, please, come on over, for Dean, at the very least… Sam, too, he's pretty awesome and cool too. I don't know why you aren't so friendly with him. He-_

I heard a flatter of wings and then I saw Castiel. Wow, he actually listened. I bet he came for Dean.

"Damn it, Castiel, how many times have I told you? Don't pop out of nowhere like that." After a few colorful words, of course, he said that.

"She called me." Castiel looked me while he said this, not happily may I add. Oops, it seems like someone was busy doing God knows what. I don't even know… I am not even sure where I am in this Supernatural timeline. I feel as if this is the time when Castiel started his path towards opening the door to Purgatory, but he was troubled before wasn't he? The day he met the Winchesters was the day he became a different man, or maybe Dean and Sam helped him find a part of himself. The side that had doubts and questions that he squashed because he believed that he shouldn't have had them. He should be a faithful soldier that shouldn't question what's given to him…

How can people expect someone to have no questions? I can't blindly put my faith into something… He hasn't even seen God, and isn't God a neglectful father in this universe? Someone who you never even seen expects you to follow their orders. Even if I've seen him once and only once, it wouldn't be enough for me to have such a strong faith for so many years… I admire Castiel for being able to do for so long, even Dean had a great amount of respect for his father.

I wish that I was able to do that. Trust, I can give it easily, that's true. The catch is that I can easily lose my trust in anybody who receives it. The person can easily destroy it, well, not easily with a simple act. It's more like the person can destroy with that first act of betrayal, and then I struggle with forgiveness, something that they won't earn. When we do have some semblance of a friendship or any relationship of some sort, it's not the same. It's much weaker, and I don't bother in strengthening it.

When it comes to them, they have such loyalty. The bond they form is so strong. Sure, it takes a great amount of time to build one. Once it's made though, that bond formed would most likely stay. It won't wobble from side to side…

Um, wait a second… I do love some deep thinking for myself, but I am pretty sure I am in the presence of, I don't know, people. Dear God, no, take that back. No prayers to a dead-beat father, please. No offense, God, I am sorry for using your name in vain 'cause that's a commandment or whatnot. I am just making it clear that I am not praying to you. I repeat, no praying over here to you… Are you even listening? Whatever, all I know is that I made a couple of stupid faces and blankly looked at something like it was the most complex and amazing thing ever.

I look up to see confused faces. What a surprise. I would have had the same face on if I saw myself. I bet it looked like I was having a conversation with someone invisible person.

"So…, you believe me when I say that I am human as I can be?"

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A/N: SO, this took forever, I know! I apologize for the massive delay. It's just I was seriously doubting myself over this, and I kept reading other fanfics! I was like, "OH, these fafics are so good... Why do I even bother. ;-;... " Anyway! I made this much shorter than the last one. If you like it like this, please leave a review to tell me if you're okay with or not. I'm already working on chapter 3 b/c I am in good spirits. 3

As, a _tiny little note_... I wrote a _hint_ of _**Destiel i**_f you want to take that way, but I most likely_** won't write Destiel.**_ XD I still might play around with reading between the lines to see Destiel. It's too much fun& hard to resist. XD

**SO, review**! :D I looooove them! I got more than one AND that made me HAPPY! :D Just leave a little :) or Good, IDK, as long as I know you read it! :) If you're too lazy to think up of a review I can leave a template-ish kind? That's what the-milk-bottle does on FP anyway, love her(as an author of course :P)!

_HAPPY 4__th__ of July _if you're a fellow American reader. XD If not, well, CHEERYNESS to you! Spread the glorious happiness around. I don't really care, honestly, sales and food is all I care about. :P


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**So upset maaan, I already started this and made an author's note of thanks. :I I lost all my files to bleh, I am lazy and it sucks to start over. Besides, I kind of liked what I had. D: Anyway, my thanks will be addressed to each person that has reviewed, fav'ed, and alerted this story at the end. So, if any of you guys are still into this... I bet that maybe you're like...hmm, for this super long wait, there must be something super awesome! Uh, no, sorry. "ORZ Still, I hope you enjoy it a bit. OH, and review! Milk-Bottle does this little base of a review(like it's a simple pre-written one), and I can do that if you want? I mean, just if you guys don't have time to do so? OH, and she has this amazing slash story! If you're not into that kind of stuff, okay, but I'll leave links to that story and her FP (FictionPress) profile at the bottom along with the replies to your reviews/support. :)

Also, if you find mistakes in grammar, spelling, or just the way the sentences are structured, then tell me, please. I read/scan through this quickly and miss things. I am really not an editor of my own things b/c I already wrote and am too lazy to go through what I just did. XD

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The looks that I have been given answered my question, which was a big fat _no_. Maybe, I looked more worried and paranoid than crazy or a mix of it all, which can make them suspicious of me because why should I be worried? I am lying and have nothing to hide, not saying that I would spill out my guts and tell them _everything_. A fan is a fan, and I am not saying I was one hardcore crazy fan; but we all have our little crazy obsessional side or something.

"Look, I know it may be hard to believe, and you really have no reason to trust me when I say so; but I am human. Before I found myself here, I was human. Because I am still confused how it even happened, things like this just aren't possible, you know?" I am rambling off here, but I can't stop and never found it possible to shut myself up. Silence is usually awkward and only okay for awe inspiring thoughts or sudden discoveries. "Just in my, er, universe, I was pretty human as can be. I didn't notice any strange behavior or sudden gaps in my memory." I just shrugged not knowing what else to say because how can I prove I am human? How can they believe me?

"Nice speech, sweetie, and you're right. I don't believe you. The _only _thing you'll find us agreeing on." Oh, come on, Dean, you're so much cooler on T.V. I am not loving you much now. I was expecting some kindness thrown to me.

I quickly averted my eyes from Dean's face and looked at Cas. I don't need this right now, geesh, some support will be nice; and something is telling me Castiel can give me some.

"So, yeah, I called you for a reason, not really expecting you to actually hear me. Hmm, I actually didn't _even _think of you actually answering, more like hoping that you would come… So, point is, I figured you can do a speedy test on me?"

"Why would you call me if you weren't expecting me to come?" Irritation marred his face along with a mix of exhaustion , stress, and confusion. His voice didn't betray him, and it wasn't obvious to see his stress... It was just if you looked closely. He wasn't a man of emotion, but there are subtle signs... Spending time with Dean and Sam rubbed off some human qualities on him such as expressing and feeling some emotions. "I apologize for the failure on my part to see it to myself, but I am at war. If I had time to- This is why I brought you here to Sam and Dean." Not even sweet innocent Cas can spare me some kindness, well, he did better than Dean; but his eyes weren't as kind as his words. He really is annoyed with me and looks like he is about to leave.

"Wait, I know, I know, that you're busy, okay? I'm sorry, and I know you come in emergencies to aid them." I pointed over to Sam and Dean. "Just, _please, _at least prove to them that I am not _lying._ To the extent of my knowledge, I am _**human**_." _Please, _if I am going to be here for a while, at least let me be on the all famous Winchester's side, the good side, of course. The bad side will be one hell of a horrible ride.

It seems like he agreed with me because he complied with what I offered, not too happily, but he did. He looked at me intensely, and I really, really, _really _wanted to look away. No one has looked at me like that before, and it's uncomfortable to be stared at. It's worse when it's not just a simple stare, but the stare that seems like it's looking into your soul, which, yeah, can make one feel vulnerable with everything being all out there for the person to look at. No secrets and stuff can be hidden by angels, so at least this won't last long and will bring something good.

I really don't understand why he didn't do in the first place when we met, or why he is making it seem like a huge task. It's just a quick little thing, right? Like, telling the difference between an apple and banana. It's an obvious difference that's not too hard. Why is it so hard to see if I'm human?

"I can't determine if you're human. You have barriers placed in your mind preventing me from seeing the truth." He tilted his head still looking at me. He was confused, and I was even more confused.

"Barriers? How do I have barriers in my head? Am I psychic or something? I mean, I didn't even know I had these in the first place." This is _not _good. This is not proving that I am human at all or how I was in my own universe? Am I different because I am in a different universe? What am I then if not human or a normal one at that?

"I am not certain what you are. Determining what you are will take more time, time that won't ensure I'll find an answer. I am sorry that I can't help you with this, but I must go." He looked at me with sorry eyes, but I don't need that, not now.

"Wait, one more thing, please. Can I take them down, the barriers, I mean? How do I do it if I do try?" I saw his shoulders sag. I know he has to go, and I am holding him back for my questions. I feel so selfish. I know he's fighting for a good cause, free will. It's just… If I had barriers placed up, they're up for a reason. They're meant to protect me, but I didn't place them or at least consciously placed them. Then who placed them? Why are they protecting me?

"Theoretically, you can take them down, but you were unaware of them. Since you were unaware, you wouldn't have the ability to take them down. If you want to make attempts at taking them down, then you have to focus and concentrate. Make yourself aware of the barriers, and then you will be able to take them down by your own will." He gave all of us a pointed look and left with the flutter of his wings leaving no time for 'wait, but, and if's.'

* * *

"So, I'm kind of tired. My mind is sort of reeling over here, and I think the _best _thing to do right now is to take a nap over there, on the couch." I really need some time to rest and think about all of this. I need to let this reality to settle. I mean, for crying out loud, I have just been here for less than _a day_, and it's kind of hard to wrap around my head all of this, not only am I in a scary reality where monsters exist, but I'm apparently not _human_, but it seems like I won't be getting any sleep tonight, of course.

I noticed that I couldn't exactly do that comfortably with the unhappy stares, and I realized why I was receiving these stares besides the other obvious reasons. "Look, guys, I won't try anything in the night. Take turns watching me if it makes you feel any better, but you need rest. I know it, you know it…" Great, I just made myself sound creepy. They don't know that their lives are on T.V. Oh my goodness, nothing that comes out of my mouth makes things any better. "But, you know what, I have perfected all-nighters, mhm, I pull them off quite nicely." Wait, maybe, I shouldn't have said that because if they slip up and fall asleep then they think I can do something. Please, _stop,_ I need to just shut up.

This is going to be one hell of a long, and I mean _long_, uncomfortable night. Emphasis on the 'uncomfortable.' Well, I didn't lie about my special skills in the department of all-nighters, an I got school to blame. _Oh_, school, you have started me off on the path of all-nighters with your little projects and time consuming easy little' tid-bits of brain exercise. It would have been fine, of course, if I didn't have to wake up early in the morning and slug through the day; butI have embraced your gift! Oh, and, hahaha, it has branched out wonderfully into amazing games, shows, and books that just drown me in this overwhelming amount of feelings. So, take that school, which I sometimes love, which I won't go to…

Wait, no school and stuck in a nightmare of a reality that I have obsessed over. This can work out. I am stuck, maybe, if they don't mind me trailing along, with two amazing hunters. They won't kill me, right? They are all gooey inside, and they are friendly… Except to monsters, which I am _not, _at least I think so.

* * *

I am uploading this right now with the new Copy-N-Paste thing( it's new, right?) b/c I already started the next chapter,but it's all in one file, and I am too lazy to organize it out and make more files to take up space. XD Anyway, when I was going to do what I said above, it said: Cument here... Cument? Cum-ent... It sounds so sexual, and it also reminds me of spices for food. Gosh, I am so immature. But, FF, you be slipping. Slipping, I say!

*Reply Time*

**Disarrayed Beauty:** Baby, pft, there are no words left to say. You know how I feel, but I want to thank you, for your support and help. :D Thank you for pushing me to write this and publishing it here. I know it's not the best story out there, but you motivate me to write. You make me feel super about it, so thanks!

**Samirah:** You were my very first review-er/reader here. I don't really know if you still look at this anymore, or well, even remember this story. I just want to thank you for reading this and reviewing it. You made me feel so happy and excited b/c you did so on the first day or so this came out. Your review helped me and it reassured me. Thank you for taking your time to read and review.

**Mrs. Leonard McCoy**: Thank you for also taking your time to read and review this! I do plan to continue this. I just need to stop comparing my work with others because I do have fun with this and that's all that matters, and I do agree with it being scary to live in the SPN world! I won't last in their world, even if I meet no monsters. XD I just won't be able to sleep at all! I also want to mention how I love your name. It reminds me of some British name, and yes, I think of tea and pastries. Your name just sounds so classical and elegant, and it's like m'dear, pass me the sugar for my tea, please. Even though British people don't talk like that, right? At least, not now? I don't know. XD I think everyone in the world are just the same, and it's just us, the individual, that makes our own self with our likes, personality, and all that jazz. I just went all deep on you, McCoy. :P

**RageBekka**: Thank you for alerting this story! I hope to see you continuing to support this story! It will be awesome to go down on this journey with me! Thank you for taking your time to read my story! Btw, I love your name. ;A; It sounds so cute. It just reminds me of some super duper awesome character that fights bad ass villains or something. It's like RageBekka is the heroine's name that she goes by in.

**Avalonemyst**: Thank you sooo sooo much for faving this story and alerting it! I know you didn't review, but your fav was like a silent review for me. It was like, baby, I love this or like this so much that I just can't ignore it and let it pile up with the rest of FF stories. I heard your love. It got through! ;'D Oh my gosh, and you, you tooooooo! I love your name! Ava-Lone-Myst... Just coolness. It just gives off the vibe of coolness. It sounds like some wise lady that is so mature and all knowing... and just-awesome name

**TreeWolfRoseGirl**: Thank you, for alerting this story! Your support is very much so appreciated! I hope you wouldn't mind seeing how this story goes with me, and I hope that if you do stay on this epic-tastic journey with me that you enjoy it! I am not saying that this story will be the ka-boom boom story of all, but I think it's fun to go along a journey with the author when she or he, of course there are male writers out there(but I am a she XD) is just writing this story out. IDK, that's me. I get a rush just like being part of that experience. I'm so weird.

Anyway, I think, I got all of you? Yeah, I am pretty sure... Anyway, review if you can or just tell me the story behind your sexy beautiful names! I love them all, seriously. Yes, you too Samirah and Michii, pft, I love you, you know that, baby! XD

www. fictionpress s/2515941/1/Quinntessential (remove the spaces)

Here's the story. She barely updates like almost once or twice a year, but the story is soooo good. It's worth it. I mean, you can all be like D: it's not a finished story and when will it update, but it's so good. Well, to me anyway. XD

www. fictionpress u/610952/the-milk-bottle (remove the spaces)

If for some reason you the links don't work then you can look her up on your own if you want to. :) She's called themilkbottle (no spaces) on Fictionpress, and the story I am referring to is Quinntessential. :)


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Yes, I did this. I planned to do this. Kept saying and imagining it in my head, and I did it. It wasn't like the summer like lolz month later, finally, no, like in a week or something. Yeesssss. :D I feel so happy.

I added a bit of dialogue considering the fact that I just attack you with blocks of text and thoughts. Geesh, Olivia, come on, be social, you've got to talk eventually!

Anyway, I am going to reply to your lovely reviews/support at the end! :D Thank you SOOO much for continuing to read this and support me. I love that you guys actually read my author notes and answered me. I freaking love you all. Now, without further ado or whatever way you spell that phrase, Chapter 4! **Pst, by the way, I never got this far with any of my stories, unless I count this one when I was 10-12 something years old.**

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**Chapter 4: My Mind, Not so Awesome**

Maybe, I am psychic, after all, because I predicted right. My night was uncomfortable and the seconds, minutes, hours slowly ticked away. In the happiest and darn right scariest dreams I have had, meeting these people that aren't real, well, aren't supposed to be real, was supposed to be awesome. I would have been squealing, smiling the biggest smile, and having awkward hugs with them. Heck, we could have been awkwardly eating pies. Awkward moments, dang it, is what I dreamed of! Well, with a dash of the supernatural, but that was fine. It was taken care of because, _hello_, I was with the best hunters. I mean, I even imagined myself a bit of awesome bad ass too, but I didn't focus on that, at least, not all the time. Those moments were nothing compared to the happy moments that I focused on.

Certainly, what fan dreams of being seen as monster by Sam and Dean, because, uh, hello, they kill them. You know, that's what they do, family business and everything. There are no _exceptions_, well, Cas, is an exception, but who can hate Cas? I just wish that somehow I can also be an exception, but I wouldn't need to be because I am _freaking _human. Out of all times of being me, an ordinary person, did I want to be _human_ so bad.

And as a human, staying up all night it's taxing. Can I do it? Hell, yeah, I can, but it's easier if I am doing something fun. I feel exhausted and my eyes feel so heavy already, but I can't sleep, not yet. When I do, I don't care what anybody will say because I love me some sleep and I _need _it.

"Well, wasn't last night a refreshing night?" Sarcasm noted and not very much appreciated, may I add. It was a night wasted in their case. They could have caught up on some sleep. Most importantly, they could have got rid of me and slept. A few tests that wouldn't have taken too much time to determine what I was, but I know that I am no monster. I would have aced those tests, but then that would lead to what am I? Their answer is, oh, certainly, not human. See, I think logically, those tests would have wasted time, but they would have felt better doing them.

Knowing them, they would have tested me when they first met me, with or without Cas's introduction. Luckily, I kept appealing to Sam's good ol' side, but I and no one can do that for long… _What if I am human_? How long can I pull out the pity human card out on them? They can't keep on thinking about the what if's because what if I am dangerous?

Obviously, all of this was very frustrating. The same thoughts kept playing over and _over _in my head like a broken record player. I kept saying the same things again and again to Sam and Dean to just leave me alone, to give me some space. If it wasn't for all of that then I wouldn't have been so stressed and just plain out of it. I was hoping that they would relax a bit. I can't exactly play the quiet game for long, but they didn't really talk to me much. Well, Dean didn't talk to me. Sam and I had small talk here and there when we weren't on the game of _what am I_?, but I was hoping to make some peace with them. I can't make them believe I am human, but I was hoping to have some sort of acquaintance relationship because we are not going to hit off and be best friends. I resorted to watching T.V., but after a while, I got bored; but I just didn't know what else to do. There wasn't much to do. I wanted to play it safe, which meant doing simple boring things. T.V is okay for an hour or two if there's a good movie, but I can't do it for the whole night. The small talk that was sporadic with Sam wasn't the best. It was relieving to have it because it was something else… It's just- Is this how my life is going to be? Being watched and hunted by hunters and being stuck here? If and only if they let me trail along with them, will my life be like this? Unless I don't get killed, what is my future here in this reality?

What's going to happen now, later on? All this feels real. It _is_ real, but how long will this reality last? Will my future remain in this reality or back in mine? How long will I last if I'm on my own? Will I have to run away from hunters? My future, my existence, in this reality is nothing but safe, sane, and happy. I am already on edge thinking about it because I am not a tough cookie. I get scared of things that go bump in the dark, and I have zero survival skills. I won't live long in this reality, and the way I'll leave this reality would be gruesome…Will my death be the end? In a reality that I wasn't born in, I will die and that's it… What would that mean for my existence in my other world? Would I be forever missing, gone? Or would I cease to exist?

I guess dreams coming true aren't always great or easy, and there aren't many that would see this as a dream; but it is a dream of mine. In all of my fantasies, I don't see myself giving up. I am everything that I fail to be, which is strong and courageous with quick reflexes. I won't take time to think and worry over what to do or how to do it. I will easily know the best choice and succeed. I will be a hero, but I won't be and am not one.

* * *

This is the second day, a simple no sleep day. Well, I guess it's my second day, I didn't really count the first night of no sleep as the first day? Maybe, like ½ of a day, but it doesn't matter. I didn't sleep. When that happens, I don't even know what day it is, let alone how many hours pass by. I wouldn't know if it's day or night if the windows or door was open at times.

It was nice, the windows or door being open. I was able to feel some fresh air and just feel connected to the outside world. If everything was locked, I just would have felt more of a depressed prisoner. I was glad that I was able to hear the chatter and noises outsides, but it's not the same as actually being out there , not here in this room full of awkward and distrust. What can I do to just break up the awkwardness?

Well, there can only be one little thing to make things better. Hmm, and what can that be exactly? It can only mean one thing. Awkward time with Sam.

"So, Sam… What are you doing now?" I tried to discreetly glance at what he was doing at his laptop. I see multiple pages of different things, or more specifically, he's looking at different sort of myths or legends of supernatural beings.

"…," he didn't say anything, at first. "I am just seeing if there are any weird things going on anywhere else. There can be stories that in newspaper that are just that, stories. It's easier to sort out between the real and the fake because there are things that stand out, but I haven't found anything yet…," he sighed and took a glance at me.

I haven't really asked him before on what he was doing. I tried to ask simple things that didn't pry things out of him. I didn't want to make myself seem too curious or rude. So, I asked and talked about simple things, the weather, time, and the 'how are you's?'

"Oh, well, good luck with that. I wouldn't know the difference," I shrugged. I really wouldn't. They all sound so far-fetched and crazy. I live a life free of monsters and things like that, or at least I think so… Things like that just sound so unreal with people that have too much of an imagination. "I am pretty much sure you can do it. You've been slaving away on that thing, anyway, so you eventually will find the one that stands out." I looked at him back, seeing that he's not really looking at me with malice or anything like before. I look back at him. Telling him, "Look, at me, I'm human, please believe me," with my eyes, but he quickly looked away because he's a hunter. As a hunter, you have to be careful and can't fall for any tricks or acts.

"Thanks," he murmured and quickly resumed to what he was doing. Gosh, that was too quick. I am too bored. I tried to take a quick peek again, and I see that he wasn't lying exactly. He was telling the truth, a half-truth, which people can debate to me about not really existing; but half-truths are true. They aren't lies, but they are just a book with missing pages… And Sam is not sharing the other half with me, the part that deals with me; which is kind of important, I think.

"What time is it?" I know Sam knew I was talking to him. Dean, he, uh, doesn't talk to me. I say something, and it's as if my words fell on a deaf man's ears.

"Um, it's 11:34," he took a quick wipe of his eyes with his hand, and I noticed that he's feeling it too. He's feeling the effects of not sleeping.

"Already? It doesn't feel like it." I was wishing that it wasn't so early. Time is passing by just too damn slow.

"Yeah," he quickly said, but I know he wasn't paying attention anymore. He wasn't into the conversation because he was caught up in his research of _me_ and other supernatural events, but he is going nowhere with me.

I looked at Dean, debating on saying something or not to him. Seeing if he would say something back or not, so I decided to go with it, why not?

"Don't you get tired of cleaning those so many times?" He's been cleaning and caring for his weapons again and again, but he didn't say anything.

"If you're doing it to scare me, it's working. If that makes you feel any better, it is." I am scared because I know that he won't give a second thought in killing me. I will have no second chance, and the scary part is, I don't know what I am anymore.

"Good, because once we know exactly what you are," he grunted after finishing up on one his guns, "I will kill you." As always Dean, you comfort me.

"Thanks, um, good to know," I raised my hands up in the air above since I was lying down. I gave him a thumbs up, and I quickly let my arms fall down back next to me.

And the day continued on slowly and awkwardly.

* * *

"Dean, we can't stay here any longer. There are some strange things happening a few states over. We _have to_ go check it out." His voice was laced with exhaustion and stress. We have been continuing our all-nighters. Today has been the fourth and a half day, and I know it's not an amazing feat of all-nighters for some out there, I don't know 'cause it's like 80 something straight damn hours of no sleep; but whatever, there will be those out there that are like, 80 hours, ha, I can so do better. No, no, our body tells us, well, hello, there I am asking you kindly and subtly to rest. Listen to me. Listen… Don't make me get angry. I will force you…_Listen or else, _and then boom-you're like what the fuck happen? Your body. That's what happened. So, yeah, I rest my case…

Anyway, Sam hasn't been necessarily relaxing. He's been busy researching and looking things up about me, which I noticed on the second day with many quick glances. I didn't dare ask, fearing that they might take my curiosity as suspicious apprehensive behavior when all I want to know is the same thing, what I am. Still, he took breaks in between when he seemed to reach dead ends. In these breaks, he was looking up to see if there was anything off anywhere close by.

Unfortunately, hunters don't really get days off, or they don't get many. They-We can't just sit around staring at each forever. I know that they weren't really saying nor doing anything because of _me._ Who wants to bring an unknown species of a monster with them?

"Um, guys, look, you guys need to talk some things out….in private, so, why don't I just hang outside. I need the fresh air, or we can do it the other way around?" Yeah, those looks, I'm a bit used to it now, but that doesn't mean I am loving them. "Because I can't really go anywhere if I am locked in here. O.K, so, there we go. You, guys, get some fresh air out and talk out what you're planning to do with-um, and I'll just wait here, yeah." Right, what to do with me…Maybe, that wasn't such a smart idea.

"Listen, you need to get this through your head, and you better understand it clearly. We don't take orders from things like _you_. You need to _stop_ with your 'suggestions' on what we should and should not do, so you better shut that trap of yours before I do." Really? Really, please, tell me you're joking. I barely say anything to you, and I just try to be friendly here and you tell me that? As if I did anything-Gosh, darn it, Dean, you're seriously pissing me off.

"Come on, Dean, let's quickly talk about this. She can't go far in those few minutes… You know we need to get moving." Thank you, Sam, yes, is it that hard Dean to be a polite like that? I mean, he isn't completely being 100% of a gentleman, but I'll happily take what I get, and this is as good as it can get.

"Don't pull off any funny business," Dean growled. Aye, aye, captain, I'll just stay here. Sam's right. It's not like I can go anywhere considering the fact that I don't really know how to get around this place much.

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you. I promise, I'll stay here like a good girl." I waved them off and laid my back down on the bed, much better by the way. Hmm, it wouldn't hurt to take a few zzz's. As I closed my eyes, I heard the door close.

* * *

Once I shut my eyes, I found myself dreaming, which was strange. Doesn't it take like some 20 minutes or something for REM to start working? Then again, we don't all casually stay up all day with no naps at all for fun. I think I can count that in for getting knocked out so quickly.

Just, once I found myself in my dream, I realized that it wasn't really a normal dream. My dreams are stories, and it's like a movie playing. Where I left off is where I continue, but this was different. I was in a room, antique and golden. The room had a chandelier, and it had beautiful furniture with intricate designs. There was music playing in the background, some instrumental peaceful music. There was a sweet smell of, I don't know, peaches? The armchair and couches were made of this golden patterned fabric, and there were throw pillows with tassels strewn about them. Huh, so fancy.

Wow, even the walls. The wallpaper was striped with a dark rusty gold and chocolate brown, and it just looked so antique. There were even those little loopy designs on the bottom, and I turned around and saw a gramophone! Well, that explains that music, and gosh, I love my mind. Who knew I was such a little gentlelady deep down?

I quickly jumped on the couch, and boy, was it soft. The atmosphere of this place was so relaxing, and my mind was just at ease. I am free from those stares and that uncomfortable room. This, _this right here_, is an awesome replacement.

Finally, I had some room for myself. Hey, maybe, I can try that thing with the opening up the barriers of my mind… I have to will it, and it will be done, or some crap like that. Ok, barriers, be gone. Go away. I don't want you. Goodbye…That's willful enough, and if I dare say, I was rough with my barriers… Ah, who am I kidding. What the hell do I know about barriers? Really, how does that make sense? Oh, guess what, barriers, you can go just like that when I want to. I mean, come on, there has to be something a bit harder than that, not that I want to break my head over it.

Ok, maybe, I have to actually believe it and visualize it, but I don't even know what they are? Are they invisible or something? I have no clue- Wait, _oh, _never mind- I- Damn, they're the walls. It's this room. If they're the walls, then that just makes so much fucking sense. Yes, finally. If I imagine this room without these walls, then I can definitely ask Castiel to take a sneak peek into my mind and yes- Just yes. This can solve my problems right now! Dean won't need to kill me, and okay, I'm ready, I'm ready.

Walls, sexy walls by the way, I have you right now in my head. Check. Now, imagine the rest of the room? Check. Now, it's time to face the moment of truth. Do I have a room without walls? I opened my eyes, not realizing I had them closed; and I saw exactly what I wanted, a room without walls…

Except, the room started to feel real strange. It felt off. I realized that the music stopped, and the walls were replaced with darkness. Darkness surrounded me, and it just got cold. I looked around and started to see the wallpaper peeling. The furniture started to splinter and break, and I didn't know what was happening.

I looked back into the darkness, and it started to _move. _It started to move like it was fucking thing. It was crawling at this slow pace, and it kept moving and moving. It inched closer and closer from all sides. I didn't know where to go, where to hide.

Walls, please, come back. Please, come back, but they weren't. I keep wishing, but the darkness just kept on coming. Consuming everything, and I take it back. This isn't a nice replacement. I want to go back to the hotel room, where there was awkwardness and everything.

A roaring sound started to come out of nowhere. It was an empty, hollow sound. I am scared to find out what's hiding in that darkness, and I don't want to know. I lost my voice, I noticed, when I tried to cry, scream, anything that voiced my fear; but nothing came out. I began to shake, and I couldn't. I couldn't stand anymore, couldn't hold myself together anymore.

I was going to die in my own _mind_? Hah, I didn't even see that. I didn't see any of this… I just want to go home, so bad. I want to be with my family, my friends. I want to go home.

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Reply Time!

**Avalonemyst: **Thank you for continuing to read this, and I am so glad that you look forward to more! *hugs you* Thank you so much for your words! I hope you like this chapter, and I hope I don't disappoint!

**Mrs. Leonard McCoy: **I am glad you liked the last chapter, and I also hope that you like this one too! 3 Thank you for taking your time to read this, and thank you for answering my ramblings in my author's note! Unfortunately, the lame person that I am, I haven't watched Star Trek! D: It's not like I don't know what it is, I've seen the fandom~ 3 It's just, that, uh, it's like- I see fandoms' love, and I get into it& like it, but I don't get it b/c I haven't read/seen it. "ORZ But, puh-lease, gurrl, I know it's not lame at all! :) Seriously, I love your name. It's unique and special b/c it's from something you like/love~ ;) I know the feeling.

**RageBekka: **I did? VICTORY! Oh, yeah, *Kool-Aid Style* I am so glad I did. It's awesome to make others laugh. I get so happy when I do! And it doesn't happen often? OH, _you, _making me feel all special! It's ok that you don't remember. I appreciate the fact that you tried to answer my question, and that makes me happy~ I have bad memory, really, really **_bad_**memory. It's like, you say a name to me? Who? See the face... Oh, I know that person. It doesn't matter how many times I hear the name if I don't see you on a daily basis&see you multiple times on those days... I know your face. :D That's about it. XD

;A; Thank you, I am glad that you like it so far, and it's _creative _and _different? _Your words, my heart, just I love you. OH, and I love that word, spiffin'. Jolly good word, sir, quite the exquisite choice of word there. Just, I love your review. I shower you with my love~

**Akiko Gasuki: **Thanks for the following this story and fav'ing it! 3 Your silent love has been heard, felt, appreciated, and I love you. OH, my gosh, you did both. Thank you for taking your time to read this, and I am glad that it turned out good enough to be followed and fav'ed! Your support is very much appreciated! *hugs* BTW, I love your name~ Can you tell me too where it came from?

**Eme-Pon Walker: **You- Words, no words. Just yooouuuuuu. You did everything. EVERYTHING. You trust me enough to follow me. Like, I would post worthy enough things to read in the future. You killed me, but I came back. I had to-To write this(of course, XD) and to thank you. I just love you-gosh, darn it. WORDS. I don't have them. Well, there are words here, but they aren't enough. *Cries* Just, my gosh, I can't process it. I love you, so much. Anyway, *gets herself together* I am so super glad that you can relate to Olivia! :) I am glad that you don't find my blocks of text/thoughts annoying~ It's comforting that you're like, yup, that's totally me right there, so that you can read with ease! I hope you enjoy this chapter and can still relate! Btw, your name, I was going to _shake that groove thing, shake that groove thing, baby! _Because that name, I love it. And Walker, reminds me of Walking Dead and so many other things.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Sleep and Peace**

**;A; You guys are so wonderful. I got more and-Thank you! 3 I hope you guys like this chapter. I was planning to add more… stuff in it? But, it seems like, this is a calmed down chapter. A filler chapter, I guess? I was planning for my stuff to go down, but I don't want this to be longer than it is? SO, next chapter would be more…productive. :) I just really wanted to add more dialogue and interaction-y stuff between Olivia and the other characters. Hope you don't mind! Just tell me if they sound too OOC~ Anyway, my replies and just _LOVE_ will be found down below!**

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And then it stopped.

Someone was shaking me repeatedly. It was far from gentle, and even if that didn't wake me up, then the shouting would have. It was a rude awakening, but I welcomed it happily with open arms because where I have been- My mind, a place that I have come to realize that is capable of many things, horrific things, has seriously scared me. I am glad to be back into this world, a better world than my mind for the time being, but it took me a while to realize that I was here-awake in the cheap hotel room.

Whoever was shaking me and shouting at me was strong. I felt their tight grip on my arms, and when I came to my senses I took a note of my surroundings, a lumpy bed and all the things that make up a dingy hotel room. What I was most curious and concerned about was who was shaking me so roughly because the person hasn't stopped.

I looked up to see a mix of hazel and green eyes staring at me. It was Sam, and he had a questioning and concerned look, which I didn't know how to respond to. All I know is that I am _out_. I am out of my mind, and I am happy and thankful. If he took me out just by shaking me, then I guess he can continue all of that shaking if it keeps me here with him.

"Hey, are you okay? What happened?" But I couldn't answer, not yet anyway. I had to do what I wanted to do in the first place because there is no way in hell that I am going through all of this crap again. _Cas, please, come down. I have my barriers down, and- You can do it now, right? It will be so easier, and I am just too tired. _I sound so needy right now. It could have been easier if I just went through the whole mess with just going through the damn tests. A cut over here with a silver knife and then some, but I didn't think that would have been a sure-thing. This is the only other thing I can think of that can _actually_ work without any mess ups.

Then I heard wind swishing about, and I took a quick glance to see if he was there. Just like Sam, he had a look of concern. I shifted my gaze to Dean to see if he was feeling the same, but he had more of an inquisitive look or, well, really a 'what the fuck is happening' look, or more really of a, 'what the fuck is wrong with you' look. Same thing, whatever, at least he's showing some other look besides hate and disgust.

"Tell me what happened once the barriers were taken down." Castiel came to my side being quick and to the point.

"I-I don't know. Just, tell them, ok. I don't want to bring them down again. Prove it to them _already_! I am so tired, and I don't want to be here. I want to go home to my-I- Just _please, _tell them that I am human. I just want that and nothing else." I couldn't look at their faces. They have been through much more and much worse, and _me? _I can't handle a stupid nightmare and no sleep.

I heard a rustle of the sheets indicating that Castiel moved closer to me. I felt his gaze at me, and I looked up briefly to look at him back; but I couldn't win the staring contest. His stare was too intense for me so I stuck with looking at my hands.

"It seems to be that she is telling the truth. I shifted through some of her memories and mind with her permission," he said that as if it was a simple and obvious type of thing. Angels and their permissions. "She is human, at least that is what she strongly believes in. She is of no harm." Ah, thank goodness gracious. Hearing those words just made my day or whatever time of day it is, and I just hope that they believe it. If it comes from Cas, and he is a loyal friend, an ally, then they have to believe it!

"Thanks, Cas, that makes things a bit better around here." I heard a huff, and I am guessing Sam was talking about Dean, the huffer. Right, things better between Dean and me? We had one hell of a shaky start, and geesh, I should be the one who is allowed to huff, not him. It's not like I was one who threatened to kill him.

"No problem, Sam. I am glad that I could be of service…," I heard a silence, thinking that he left. Then I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Be careful, Olivia, I suggest you place those barriers back up, and be calm. You are safe as long as you have them up… And I'll come to your aid if needed."

"Um, thanks…," I looked up when he turned his attention to talk to me, and I really think it doesn't matter. His eyes are just so bright. It's impossible to not get captivated by them. I realized that I was staring a bit, so I tried to quickly make up for that hoping that no one noticed- I mean Cas is a bit oblivious anyway. Sam isn't, but I hope he doesn't say anything about it, heck, Dean probably noticed too. I hope he keeps his mouth shut too. It will be too awkward to, um, talk about my _admiration_ with Castiel. "Uh, good luck with your war." You'll do fine, I know, but I won't say that. I don't need to deal with that now. I have enough with the barriers, which, hopefully, I don't need to go back to sleep for.

And even though I badly want to sleep, I won't. I am too scared that I will go back there. I know that's how I was able to take the barriers down in the first place, but I hope I can go around and avoid that. I'll manage it somehow, like Castiel said, I need to will it and gosh damn will it I will.

* * *

Unfortunately, I failed. I fell asleep anyway without meaning to, but thankfully, I had my barriers up. I remember constantly willing it to go up, up, up! I also remember trying to stay up, up, up, but I obviously failed. It was hard to stay up. My quick nap, as bad as it was, just made me realize how truly exhausted I was. I mean, three days, without any little naps or productive things to do, is _hard_ to do. Boredom, sleepiness, and anxiety ain't a good mix. Add that with the fear to sleep, which I need, is seriously an issue, for me at least. I don't work like that on a daily basis, so instead of being excited to sleep, something that should have relaxed me, I was scared. I didn't know if my barriers were up! I didn't want to make that risk _again. _

Still, it was hard to fight the sleep that my body was demanding. Not only was the three days taxing, but the ride in Dean's car helped me fall asleep. The ride has a lulling effect on me. Especially, Dean's music, it was fine for the first hour or two, but it kind of got annoying as more hours continued to pass by. I like it and music can calm me to sleep, but his music wasn't exactly something that has the soothing effect. Besides, hearing the same type of music, even a song I absolutely love, can get boring after hearing it a bit too much… and I guess my mind wanted to escape the world again along with my body that was asking for it.

Luckily, my constant willing did bring the barriers back up. The room I was in changed a bit, but it still retained that antique look to it. Simple and small things changed. Instead of classical music playing, silence replaced it, which was music to my ears. Dean's blasting radio has filled up my music hearing tank for the day, thank you very much.

A sweet smell clung to everything in the room, but it wasn't peaches. I couldn't quite place what it was, but it wasn't fruity. Peaches and fruit would not be the same for a while now. Stupid barriers, I really did love peaches, but whatever fragrance was clinging onto the room, I found it comforting. The chandelier wasn't brightly glowing like before, rather it emitted a dull and soft glow, enough to see my surroundings. I wonder if my mind can imagine food up here. I sure would like something to eat when I wake up…well, wake up in my mind. Then after eating, I can wake up again…And still be hungry?

I don't know. The logic here doesn't make sense. I mean, I was able to get here, which isn't possible anyway in the first place because this place really shouldn't exist. I mean, I am talking about a place where people don't actually die, really. They die, and oh, hello, you're back! The logic here, just, thinking about will lead you nowhere but with more questions. Right now, I am not in the thinking mood. It's too much work to bother myself with on what constant logical rules applies and doesn't apply here in the Supernatural world.

Looking around my room, I found how connected this room and my mind is. It pretty much seem like my mind shifted and matched my mood and wants, which was currently a perfect place to sleep, which is obviously great. I don't need to struggle with sleeping, but I'll probably be too tried to struggle… But it helps that everything is perfect, and I don't want to wake up for a long while. I need a good break from this reality.

* * *

Sadly, I woke up, and in the same way too. It was gentler, though, the shaking wasn't as rough and the voice wasn't as loud. It was loud enough to wake me up, but it had a kinder and softer tone to it. I opened my eyes to see Sam, once again,

"Um, hey, sorry, for falling asleep… So, what's up?" I hope I didn't drool all over my jacket, which I used to not drool over Dean's baby instead. Dean has already told me his rules for his baby, and you don't mess around with him and his rules. Breaking them won't help me right now,Obvious rule, I don't get to choose the songs. I guessed Sam noticed me checking if I did anything to mess up Dean's baby.

"Don't worry. You needed the sleep anyway. I just woke you up to see if you wanted something to eat?" Even though none of us had exactly said anything to apologize for our share of words and looks, it was clear enough to understand that we are sorry, that we are over it. It was stupid, and we should just get over it. At least, I was able to see it in the Sam's eyes and the way he talked to me, to compensate for his cut and dry words.

` "Oh, right." And right on cue, my stomach growled. Well, body, I agree, I am super hungry, thanks for the reminder. "Uh, anything is fine really, whatever you can get." I just need to calm my hunger down a bit. I never did get the change to eat in my dream anyway.

"Are you sure? Nothing you like?" I couldn't help but a laugh a bit.

"The way Dean loves his pies?" Even when I was sort of held captive, Dean wasn't exactly able to hide his love for pies.

"Yes, yes, exactly like that." He couldn't help but chuckle as well.

"Um, I love chocolate, anything chocolate is good. Oh, and some Iced Tea! Those are my addictions, 100%." He gave me a little stare and then smiled. Hm, maybe, I worded that wrong… addictions. Yeah, no addictions seems just about right.

"Sure, no problem, just hang on tight." He turned and left to get the food for all our hungry bellies. I turned to see Dean waiting for the car to fill up on its gas while he looked at the map, making sure that they are going the right way and to see how much longer it might take to get there. He looks up and notices me looking at him, in which turn I quickly looked away. Just because I am not a monster anymore (never was in the first place) doesn't meet we are best buddies. I rather not provoke any unneeded or unwanted attention from him because any attention right now from him won't be so smooth.

But Dean is a good guy. Sam is lucky to be Dean's brother because Dean can be the greatest brother. He takes his job as a brother seriously, and he would really die and do anything for Sam. To have someone to love and care for you like that is unbelievable… So, to have his trust in me? To be his friend? It will be amazing, and for that I do respect Dean. I know he has a good side to him, just his bad side is very… Tough to handle at times.

Then I heard a tap at the window closest window to me. I turned, expecting to see Sam, maybe needing help with something or forgetting what I asked for, but it was Dean.

"Um, yeah? Do you need help with something?" I start to quickly move to open the door and get out, but he stopped me halfway.

"You don't need to get out of the car, it's fine… Look, I-," he started, but then quickly stopped. He placed his hands over his face to calm himself down. He quickly rubbed away the tension…nervousness, whatever it may be, maybe it was a mix of both, away from his face. What in the world would he be nervous for? I hope it's nothing bad…Maybe, he wants me to leave? But where would I go? He knows I am human now. It can't be that. I hope it's not that.

He took a breath, and he seemed like he was able to find his words… or ready to continue. "I'm sorry, alright?" He paused a bit, looked at me with sincere eyes, to prove his point. He then continued to tell me, "Don't think we're best friends now. No chick moment, even if you are a chick, no hugs or anything like that." Of course, he will cover up his apology like that, but he _apologized. _That's good enough for me.

"Promise, no hugs or anything of the sort." I couldn't help but laugh and salute at him. I know coming from Dean that the apology was true. It took a lot from him, and I think it shows that we might be heading towards some sort of friendship.

He gave a nod, closed the door with a little smack at the door, and continued on his way back to his map and gas. I looked at his retreating back with a smile, hoping that things can stay light like this, but knowing that it wouldn't since I am in the Supernatural world, after all, I decided to store this moment with all of its light and happy spirits into my mind.

I decided to get out of the car anyway and help out Sam, the least I can do. I might as well help them with the small things, things I know I can do and won't mess up on. Because, let me be honest, I know I won't be helpful in a hunt. I am not a hunter or an athletic person. I am not saying that I can't help, but I know my skills, my limits. Thankfully, I am not limited in carrying some bags of yums yums like chocolate.

* * *

**PSTTTTTTT, It's Responding Time, :)**

**Rage-Bekka**: I love your review. I think it was my favorite because it was long and funny. It gave me a laugh, and I just loved it because as much as I love a review- I just love it when they are like yours. 3 So keep 'em coming.

Your dream sounds strangely awesome. I mean, if I had it, I would be scared and creeped out. XD Especially with the Luigi thing. (I am not sure if you still remember the dream you told me about). Well, if anyone laughed evilly and told me that they were going to get me with a serious face of :{D - That will be Mario 'cause he has a moustache and I'm assuming he will be smiling all evilly and creepy like that. I will be like, "Yeah, um, I am not available right now…Uh, maybe another time? Or better yet, someone else, mhm. Like those stupid mushrooms and stuff, oh yeah."

It's okay. You reviewed so quickly! :o By golly, I was like FFF- HOLY MOTHER OF NUTELLA! I was so happy. I am loving you a bit more-no, lots-more now. :) Me neither! I hate it when they put it close together. Like, IDK, um, a v? A squiggly v and a w…It's just- Sometimes, I can a pro at them, and then it's like I lost the ability to read.

Honey, we can be special together, guuurl. But I know what you mean. People can say something that can have a double meaning, and you can take it the other way, the right nice way, when they can meet it the other way around?

Oh, you, making me blush and smile! 3 I was super happy when I read this the first time, still am. I know, that boy, he don't know what he be saying and doing sometimes. At least he's way nicer in this chapter! Aw, pft, I couldn't! I am 4'11(1/2 or so). Do you know how teasing that is? It's like LOL you can never be 5 feet or close to the average height, hahaha! :D

Well, anything can be taken in a negative way. ;) But, so do I! I love my warm/hot showers. XD I take too long because it's just so relaxing.

Why, thank you! I hope that you also have a spiffin' good time, whatever that time may be, my lady! Oh, ho ho, maybe I will! :D And then I'll EAT them while they sufferrrrrrrrr. Or maybe not. Who knows. :p

**Akiko Gasuki: ** Oh, thank you! I am really glad that you think so! I was worrying that it wasn't because when I read others, I am like…How do people read mine? I have fun writing this, but it's not the same quality- And just your review gave me more confidence- or simply just confidence in this because I really didn't have any. I have a lot of self-doubt, um, yeah.

Really? I am glad that you like Olivia, as a character and as the protagonist. OH, gurl, pft, let me hug you back 'cause hugs make the world go round and round…forever… :) *hugs* OH! I love that! That makes sense and seems so nice~ I love autumn. It refreshes me, and just gives me this energy. Well, you were close enough though. For me, that's close enough, so I'll still give you a *high five*

Thanks, for answering my question! Because some people can just tell me to look it up, but oh my gosh, you and my reviewers are so nice~ 3 I hope that you like this chapter! If something about it changed that you don't like, you can tell me. I do have fun writing this, but I also want to make it a pleasurable and fun experiences for my readers as well! So if the pace seems too slow or something is lacking, I will try to improve/change it~ I hope you can stay with me on this journey of writing this story!

**Avalonemyst: **Thank you so much for taking your time to review! I appreciate you, only taking your time to read, but to review. Really. I don't care for the length(well, that's not true, I mean, like I said to RageBekka, I do love it if it's long~ It's just fun to read! :p). Not that you have to do the same, but what I really am trying to say is that I appreciate it. Your review makes me feel better! It's just the fact that you just reviewed means a whooole lot to me. You could have just read it and went on, and I wouldn't have known! Reviews are just a great way to reassure the writers that people are reading and enjoying their work, so thank you! 3 *huggles you* I hope that you liked this chapter as well!

**Emerald Eme-Pon Walker: **I realized that I forgot to put the Emerald in your name! I just put Eme-Pon Walker. Sorry! Oh, btw, did I tell you that the Walker part of your name reminds me of the Walking Dead? 3 I love that show, aahh. Anyway, I love you too! Oh, you're awesome for reading, reviewing, and just loving me guurrl! You is AWESOMER! I will keep on writing, yes m'am!

Oh, I know, I know. I would be the same way. Because, my brain would be dead, and I would be like-not thinking rationally- YOU WANNA SEE I AM HUMAN?! OH I'LL SHOW YOOOUU *SLICE THAT MOTHERBUPPING ARM* THERRRREEE, SEE. Yeah, I would be upset and crazy. Sleep is precious, so precious to me… my precioussssss. XD I might actually put that in-just for the fun. :) Mostly, for Dean, 'cause he is going to be my Doubting Tom.

_**Now, thanks to the following, who didn't review, but HONEYS, SUGARS, BABIES, LUBBLY LOVES, I LOVE YOU TOO 3, GONNA GET YOUR OWN SECTION FOR YOUR SILENT LOVE~**_

**xXJune-BugXx: ** I love your name, but I be loving of all the people's names who read my story. Still, I love it b/c it just reminds me of a fun summer where friends went on an adventure and did so much…that it will just be full of memories. The adventure is simple but just memorable. :) Also 'cause I was just born in June, but you know that has nothing to do why I love your name. ;)

**BrknFire: **I love your name because it reminds me of How to Train Your Dragon(HTTYD). Because I love that movie so much. So much. Yes. That's what I immediately thought of as soon as I saw/read your name. Have you seen the movie? If you have, do like it?

S**uperAg: **I love your name b/c I think of the chemical argon. So, you just remind me of a super strong human being. Or Ag can be shortened for Angelica, Angeline, Angy, other names with Ag in them. XD I am limited in my knowledge of names.

**Lola Smith: **There's a Lola out there, by that I mean… I feel like there is a show/book/ game/something that I have seen/read/played that has a character named Lola…and it's itching me to figure out where I've heard/seen that name. Grr, but I do love your name. You remind of me a smart and cool detective that's a bit quirky. But just totally badass at the same time. Anyway, thank you so much for the follow& fav! Insane, for the fav'ing. Just thanks for your love.

_** :**_Hello! :) I couldn't help myself, sorry. How did you come up w/ your name if you don't me asking? Your name makes me feel all cheery, Like, 'ello! If I heard your name& I was outside, I will be hello'ing everyone. Hello, Hat person. Hello, Coffee Drinker. Hello, Tired Person. Hello, Creepy Looking Person. IDK. Thanks, for your follow! 3 I hope you continue to like and read this!

**TyrantWaffles: **I will bow before you, Master! Give me some waffles in return of my graciousness…w/ some syrup& the good stuff like whipped cream& fruity fruit, you know, but I am not demanding it, oh, master of the waffles! Um, yeah, sorry. XD I just love your name. TyrantWaffles. :D I just want to thank you for your decision to follow this story! I hope you continue to read and enjoy it!

**Gypsy-Kitsune1337: **GURRRL, YOU FAV'ED THIS. FAV'ED ITTTTTTTT. That means a lot. Means you liked it. Enough to fav it… My kokoro can't hold it. The love-*slowly dies*…I am back from the dead. :) I must continue with my mission to write…and eat. I love me some food, free food is better. :) OH yes. Gosh, TyrantWaffles got me a wee bit hungry. Anyway, thank you soooo much!

**THE LOVE HAS ENDED….FOR NOW! :D SEE Y'ALL LOVELIES NEXT TIME. **


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Decision Time

A/N: There will always be a A/N just 'cause I like to talk, which also means typing in this case. Sometimes. Anyway, I realized that I tend to update monthly! Which is a yay on my part 'cause that's actually good! It's sort of scheduled and organized, you know! Not sporadic! It's not frequent, but I can try to do more frequent updates?

It's just I like my chapters to be at least 3 pages, which is a decent amount? Unless, you want more? It won't actually take more time(unless I am stuck with what I want to happen in the chapter-that's why I take time) 'cause usually I do more, but I am like…this be a good place to stop…*posts that* continues with the next chapter.

Anyway, you guys are as ALWAYS so LOVELY! :) I got more followers, and you know- :) that makes me tons of happy. SO, I will thank you guys at the bottom! Even though most of you are silent, I don't care. Like, I said, I like to talk. Love your lovely damn names, babies. You all got to know that, of course.

* * *

I really am starting to believe that I am psychic now, or I'm really intuitive. Either way, they're both pretty decent things to be. It can help in sticky situations, and it also absolutely means I can trust my instincts; but my instincts are being too awesome right now, sadly. They are sending confused messages. I wish I can

Not much has time has passed since my arrival here. Maybe, three weeks or a month, I am not so sure. I'm still as confused as ever, or probably even more so. It's still hard for me to help them with hunts, to get into the flow of things because it's not my kind of business. Sometimes, in our spare time, rare times at that, Dean or Sam teach me a few defense moves, not the ones that they teach you for creepers. They taught me how to use a gun and other weapons, and I learned how to use it. Sure, I did, but I am no natural at it. So, in case of emergencies and I only have myself to rely on, I use the weapon that I'll have on me at the time. For now, I stuck with what I was good at, the research, the interviewing, the brainy stuff. I can do that just fine, but my life, or rather my mind, wasn't solely focused on that, the hunter life.

I missed my old life, my family and friends. It wasn't as exciting or dangerous as this life, but I don't belong here. I was born over there, where my family and friends are. They are my _family and friends_, what more should I add? It's as simple as that. I need them, but I like it here though. This type of life makes me feel strong, worthy, like I have purpose, a great one. I've made friends here; I've touched people's lives. How can I ignore that and completely throw it away? But I can't have the best of both worlds, and I don't even know what I want anymore.

I know it's possible to get back to my world, with the sigil, I think. It's not easy, I assume, because then wouldn't supernatural beings be popping in and out of world like 1, 2, 3? Unless, that explains that weird incidents or eyewitness, but aren't their abilities or powers gone? Still, sigil or no sigil, if I didn't know that, then I would know one thing for sure. If there was a _way _for me to get _in here_, then, heck, there is a _way out_. The only thing left for me to do before I go back is to decide… _Do I really want to go back… and stay? _I mean, maybe, I can just go back, and just-just see their faces one more time. Maybe, I can have one more talk with them, one more memory.

Then, I think to myself, if I find myself with a great purpose here, was I born with a great purpose in my world? Would I be helping people the way I am here, indirectly or directly? Or would I live a simple life? A life devoid of the excitement that this world has because once you are exposed to it and get a taste of what much more you can do and learn about, it's hard to _stop_.

And this is what has been bugging me all along for the past weeks, and I have made no progress. I have made no decision, yet… and for how much more longer can I avoid this? Because also how long have I been _gone _in my world. How long have my family and friends been worrying and looking for me, while I am out here? And that's what stops me cold, too. I can't enjoy myself, while they think I am dead-and to live with that. To never find out the truth?

I just-It's a bit too much. There's so much- I can't just carelessly decide what I want. It can be easy- stop the worries of my close ones. Live in my life. Make myself feel worthy and great. Do something great, but it just won't be the _same_.

* * *

I was outside the motel room, breathing in some needed fresh air. I was getting a drink from the soda machine, but I was no closer to making up my mind. Doing no better on calming my nerves either.

"Castiel… I'm sorry, again." How many times have I called him? Can't I do anything for myself? I mean, I go all the way for independence, whoo-hoo, but there are some things I just can't do. A lot of times, I've realized is because I get too impatient... So, I need help, not all girls can be the epitome of modern day woman, which isn't possible, at least to me. How can one person be expected to handle and do _everything_. For crying out loud, I mean, _come on. _ "I am confused. Can I just have some answers?"

The air changed around me, and the air tickled my face. I looked to the side to see Castiel, tired and stressed. And the angel has answered my prayer.

"You called." It was a statement, devoid of any attitude or malice. If I didn't know or, well, have some understanding of Castiel because of the show, I would have thought he was being cold, impersonal. In other words, I would have thought he was big old meanie with something stuck up in the behind, but Castiel, thankfully, is just one good ol' awkward guy.

"Yeah, um, I was just wondering how did I end up here?" I shifted from one foot to the other on the very ground that I am speaking of, let's say, another _world_. Before I let him answering, thinking that he may say what I already know, the technicalities, I gave a further explanation. "I saw a person writing a sigil out in an alleyway, but what would someone from your world be doing there?"

He kept quiet, but I saw a slight change in his face. He doesn't know about that. _Oops, _didn't I just single-handedly open a can of snakes, worms, stuff. You know some problems, which just brings stress. 'Cause who doesn't love more problems with a war? Me and my mouth.

Seeing the discomfort or rather concern I created, I decided to quickly change the subject. Better keep that fact in mind that he doesn't know who the angel is, the one that came into my world. I can't blame him. It could be a sign of betrayal, too. I heard myself sigh, not being able to hold in my own frustration. I wish I can change the subject to a lighter tone, but there's no time to waste and I need my answers. Hopefully, these questions won't bring any more unwanted trouble.

"Does this happen often? People from another place coming into your world?" It's a silly question, I bet, because then they wouldn't have trouble dealing with my case. If it happened often enough, then they would have set up protocols on solving these kinds of problems.

"It has happened before, more than once, but not quite enough. Angels have gone to your world to live different lives, peaceful lives, but there have been cases where beings from your world came into this world."

"Humans, like me? Were there cases just like mine?" The words rushed out of me, leaving no breath in me. I took a quick intake of the air me to cam myself down. I couldn't help but grow hopeful. If something like this, just like this, happened before, then we can easily solve this in no time!

"Like I said angels have lived in your world. They are the only ones who know of the sigils. Those who came back were actual angels themselves who came back to live in this world. If another being came, it is because the angel brought them either because they are betrothed or have an intimate relationship of some sort." Betrothed? Um, well, I haven't heard that word in a while, least not from my friends. Just in ol' classic literature or those with an affinity for words.

"Oh, OK, then, is there any other angel still alive, wanting to speak to us about it?" I was disappointed that there was no one exactly like me. My shoulders and whole body just drooped. I know I am acting like a little kid, but I was so excited…I know I am no angel's love or best friend. I didn't write that sigil. I just-_plopped_- right in here this little world.

"No, most likely not, seeing at we're at a time of war. Seeking for information is not as easy and will come at a cost, but I'll see what I can do. I promise to help you." And those words just made me feel better and blush. I looked away, embarrassed.

"Thank you so much, I appreciate that…for everything you have done." I took a chance to see if he was still there.

His eyes looked at me, and they comforted me. Thinking that was he going to leave just like that I just continued to stare, waiting for an empty spot. Seeing that he still didn't say anything, making things a bit uncomfortable, only for me, of course, I decided to break the silence.

"Is there anything I should know?" He didn't look away but nodded at my question in affirmation.

"Yes. There is a possibility-When angels return to this realm, they retain their abilities or powers as you might say. Humans come and stay as humans in this realm. If what you are telling me is true, that you believe and say you were human in your own world, then you should not be showing any other abilities beyond of a normal human." _Normal_, but there are those are those are special, right? That word, normal, is the key word.

"But you said _normal_, right? That means that there are people that are just a bit more special but human. What if I am just that?"

"You would have shown those abilities in your own previous realm." And then there was a hint a slight irritation, sounding like, _did you just not listen to me? _As if he made it clear enough to me, and I am just asking a pointless question already answered.

"Well, yeah, but you're making it sound as if I," I used both my hands to point to myself, " can be an angel." I had to emphasized to him how me, _me, _cannot be an angel. Besides, wouldn't I remember something like that?!

"Yes, that's what I said." He looked me at confused, at what? My disbelief?

"Well, then, wouldn't I remember something, I don't know, important like that?!" I never really let my anger get a hold of me like that, not so easily or quickly, but I just can't believe a _lie _like that.

"If an angel has been living in another realm not of their origin for thousands of years, they can forget where they truly come from, what they are. If they insist on living a new life away from their own realm, their strong determination accompanied with the many years spent in their new life can cause this." He said as it was simple, which really did sound simple. It made sense.

It happens, sure. When you want to forget, you can forget and just shove it deep, deep, deep off somewhere in your head. I get that. That's what happens to people who go through trauma, and people who have just awful bad memory can forget things. Heck, forget bad memory, when you just get old, some things will just slip your memory. If it's not relevant or _important _to your life, there's no reason to remember. I wouldn't remember what I ate 8 years ago on a random day. Why? If someone, an angel, really wants to live a new life as a human, I guess, and then being an angel won't be important. If an angel was the reason why they couldn't live peaceful, I mean, then being an angel is something you sure you want to forget.

"I mean, that makes a lot of sense, but it's just hard to believe that I can be one." I couldn't say it, it's weird to say aloud that I am an angel, even thinking it's a bit weird. Besides, I am not even sure it's true, and it just makes me feel all the more worse.

"It is a possibility, but I will keep to my promise. I will help you." Again, hearing those words made me feel better, and I realized that it can be because I actually have someone as an actual friend. It didn't start off so rocky with threats or glares. He trusts me, my word, and I couldn't hide the smile creeping up on my face because I know that smile would seem out of nowhere, hence, the creeping.

"Castiel," I said his name, happily, glad that he hasn't left yet. "Thank you, again, and sorry, for lashing out on you. I didn't mean to grow impatient or mad at you, really. I am just, really, really confused." I knew I couldn't look away when I said this. I wanted him to understand and believe in what I am saying is true, so I had to look at him straight in the eyes. My face felt hot because I just can't look at his face without getting red. I still haven't gotten over my liking towards him…and meeting him on the few occasions I have has only proved the respect I have. Moments like this just remind me that my respect for him is morphing into some semblance of a normal thing than an infatuation.

"You're welcome." He nodded and awkwardly put his hand on my shoulder, in comfort, I guess. I think he learned this from Dean and Sam. I don't think he would really understand how much a simple gesture can mean, for some this gesture can mean nothing, but for me it means a lot. It brings comfort and brings truth to his words. In other words, he has become more human because of Dean and Sam, in the sense that he's paying attention to the feelings of others… and actually caring.

He left without a goodbye, a voiced one, I mean, but it was alright. The simple touch of the shoulder was good enough. I felt giddy and light, and I can't believe that I feel the same way I did in high school. Butterflies in the tummy and all. Grown people don't still so excited over a damn shoulder touch right or act like this? Or maybe, I am just not fully grown yet, mentally, at least, because I am pretty sure there are other things that can provoke more of an excitement. Gosh, I just need to stop thinking about this. I am happy, that's that, and I don't care that I am still acting like a little school girl with a crush…much.

I turned back and bent down to grab my drink to distract my mind from the current thoughts flying around. My mind just can't get a break. If it's not _what am I?!, _it's the _what should I do? _Oh, but hey, if it's not any of those two, then it's my crush and love life. Rather than focus on all three of those at the same time or any one of them at the moment, I can focus on the moment, which is right now enjoying a nice sweet drink.

I twisted the cap off and took a big gulp. Maybe I can help with finding the angels. There will have to be some strange things in articles with people just popping out of nowhere, like a woman who had no ties to this world before. Because the other possibility of why I could be here is if I were an angel, which I still don't believe.

When that thought passed by mind, I laughed to myself. I can't be one. I just can't. Besides I wouldn't know of the sigils without the Supernatural show, and wouldn't I have memories of my past life? Ha, me an angel? I am pretty sure I would have remembered something by now, anyway. For some reason, I felt disappointment, but I shoved the feeling deep down. No stressing now. This moment is to relax and be free of all those thoughts.

I went back to my drink, finished it up, and let the air fill me up. I came out here for a breather, to relax, and I feel much better knowing that there is a strong possibility of me going back.

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A/N: Late, and I just said up there I do monthly updates, roughly. Oops, I just lied. See, I know I can't say definitive things like that b/c somehow I prove myself wrong. *face palm* Grr, anyway, I am happily surprised, not only that I am continuing this, but I did get more support. I don't want to dump my whole life story on why I am late, nothing major, just I have some important things to do...and I tend to not do or stall the things I _really _got to do...and I feel bad and keep avoiding this b/c of that.

Um, so no individual thanks here _**yet!**_I was still writing up this chapter, getting into it, trying to get close to what I want and I realized I got over the # of pages I usually do for each chapter for this story, which is not a lot! Still, XD, you might see those lovely thank you-roo's later on. :D Still,

**THANK YOU :) I love your support, and I hope you can keep supporting me if it's not too much to ask.**

**_You will see your thanks next chapter! Just in case you didn't read the italics...&actually read my thanks? XD_**


	7. Chapter 7-Sick in the Mind and Heart

Chapter 7: Sick in the Mind and Heart

A/N: it has been months since my last update, and I do want to apologize for that. I kept putting this update for several reasons, but one thing that stopped me was my computer. It is buggy as in it sometimes it turns on normally and sometimes not. :( So, it is kind of hard to access my files there. So I need to start fresh~ I am typing on something else now( a gift! Birthday, graduation, Christmas gift all rolled into one, XD). So, all those thank you's, will be in the bottom :DI still want to give a big THANKS! Without further ado, here is chapter 7~

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As I was walking back to the hotel room, I quickly became worried about how I was going to tell Sam and Dean the new shocking news of how I just possibly might be an angel... It's just a possibility though so what harm can there be in not telling them? Besides, I told them I was human, and I don't know how Dean would react to the simple possibility of me being anything not human. I rather not destroy what little peaceful relationship we have.

I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts. Each and every time I let my mind drift to these thoughts, I freak out. Nothing good comes out it. All I am left is with the 'what if's?' What I hate the most of letting my mind drift is when my mind is lleft astray to memories, memories of my real life. This isn't my life here, and remembering my life with my family and friends hurts. It hurts to not know how they are doing. It hurts not knowing when I will see them...if I will ever see them. It hurts to think these thoughts and to lose myself deeper into this world...

What if Castiel said was right? If I am an angel, my life-the one one the real world- is a lie. They aren't my family. My family, friends, and life is really here after all. Did I have friends here? Are they still alive? I mean, then, my family over there in the real world... I mean I just can't toss them aside, even if I am an angel. I've been living there since I was born. I built relationships with them. I grew up there. These memories I have of them are real, aren't they?

I can't believe I am thinking this! This is why I hate thinking these thoughts. I get so confused over anything and everything. Reality, what is reality? What is true, and what is a lie? I cannot answer simple questions. I can't even say I know who I am for sure or my name because my identity, the one I've known for years, can be one I made up in escape of my life here; but I escaped... If I escaped this life here, then that's a good thing. I don't need this life here. I can return to my old life after I figure everything out...

My legs quickly stop moving. I stay in place, not wanting to move an inch more. I drop my drink and clench my fists, holding all my frustration. I bite my lower lip to hold in the scream desperately trying to scratch its way up my throat and out my mouth. I close my eyes shut tight, not wanting to see what's before me. I am tired of seeing this world. I am sick of this...

"Hey, lady, are you alright?" The voice interrupted my thoughts. The voice came out low, whispered I guess you can say. It sounded like a little boy. I thought of how I might have looked like to the little boy, to a stranger. I guess, I probably looked scary and mad to the boy, and to an adult I probably could have look troubled. You stay away from troubled looking people. You don't want to get into that mess.

I quickly unclenched my fists and shook my hands a bit. Shaking away the anger, I let go of my lower lip and slowly opened up my mouth. Checking for any possible scream wanting to let itself loose. Then, lastly, I opened my eyes. I found myself still here. Hm, I guess even wishing with all my might to be somewhere else won't magically transport me to a better place... Maybe, I should have done what Dorothy did, except I didn't have her shiny red heels. Maybe, my flats could have done. It's just a downgraded version of heels. I sighed and turned to the voice I heard a few seconds ago.

"Sorry, kid, I am just a bit...sick," I said above a whisper...I guess I whispered too, but I whispered in fear of how my voice might have sounded like. I was afraid my own voice would have betrayed me and take a life of its own to scream. I brought my gaze up to his eyes. I hoped he believed what I said. I mean, I was sick... Sick in the head and heart, but that still counted.

"I am not a kid,"he bit out sharply. He crossed his arms and scrunched up his face. I kept a little laugh daring to come out. The kid's face looked like he sucked on an awful lemon.

"Right, right. I am sorry." I placed my hand on my heart and tried to keep sounding sincere, well, ah, I remember how I didn't like it when people called me kid either when I was his age, which seemed to be about 7...and a half. "Will you forgive me?"

"...," he was quiet for a moment. I think he was debating whether or not to get along with a grown-up. "Fine, but my name is Louis." He put emphasis on his name, ensuring I got it right this time.

"Hey, Louis, I still have some some spare change. Here," I fished some change from my pocket to give to him. "You can go get yourself something from the snack machine, okay. Sorry, for creeping you out by just standing there." Then again wasn't giving a kid change to get snacks an indirect way of being like some sort of creep. I couldn't get rid of my creepy factor. I needed to work on being less creepy.

"Really?" He quickly got excited at the prospect of getting some candy. "Mom wouldn't have let me eat anything, especially candy late at night. She said it is not good for you... That it won't help me with my sleep. She says that there is a monster who comes out and gets kids who stay up late at night." He looked disappointed that his mom always tells him no, or maybe it's because of the 'monster.'

"But you don't believe in the monster, do you?" I put my hands on my hips and scrunched my face up just like him. "Only kids believe in monsters."

"No! I don't." He quickly said and then added, "I said I wasn't a kid!" Oh, poor kid, so easy to tease him.

"Alright, alright. Relax. You are not a kid, but listen to your mom, okay? She is your best friend. Now, hurry up, get that candy, and sneak it back home. It's not safe to wander out here in night." I gave him the most serious face I can muster. I put my hand up to my forehead in a slanted manner. "Got that, soldier?"

"Yes, sir, um, ma'am, lady, uh, person," he finished of weakly. I put my hand down, laughed, and ruffled his hair.

"It's fine. Just get going." He nodded and ran his way to the snack machine. I sighed and bent down to pick up my dropped drink. I turned it around in my hand remembering how stressed out I was not too long ago. I really needed to keep my cool. Thinking in a stressed state wouldn't get me anywhere.

The best I could do now was to think up of some solution to my problem, and the best thing I could think of right now...was a psychic. Hm, as much as I liked to say how much I think I am a psychic, I better go look for the real deal...on my own, of course. I'd do it in my spare time without any help from Sam, Dean, or Castiel. He was already helping in his own way, and he didn't need more on his platter. Besides, psychics, real psychics, are people full of knowledge, knowledge that can reveal who or more specifically what I am.

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Thank You's(starting from chapter 5 :0)

Andreams512: Oh, baby, I updated not so soon as you asked or as I wanted, but I remember reading your review and it made me super happy. It still does even now, and I hope you don't regret saying those words now. "ORZ XD Oh. Sam, you know him, he be having problems, addictions are one of them. Tsk. Tsk. Well, to blood. You don't hear everyday. Aaaw, thanks, but trust me, I bet you will fin other OC stories, waaaay better than mine. I can tell you that fo sure. Thanks, for the favorite, too~ *huggles you*

Avalonemyst: Thank you so much for your review! I love Dean's not apology as well. :) it was fun putting that little interaction in. I noticed I made a tiny mistake. I wanted to write 'chick flick,' but I forgot to add on the flick... What? How did I even-? Anyway, I a glad you read past that and still liked it. Oh, and cute? Gah, I am capable of making cuteness? You is too kind. :p

AcelticDream: Thank you so much for the follow. I am glad you decided to follow this, and I love your name. So icy cool sounding. With the new release of Remember Me( a game) you remind me of a cool Errorist Agent. Because memories are like dreams. Or dreams can feel like memories... So you can make them scary because sometimes the thought of something cold and hard as ice doesn't bring pleasant thoughts? Idk. Oh, welp. I like your name though.

SweetDemon95: Ohohoho, what a coincidence that a 'demon,' is following up on my story, eh? :p Seriously, though I want to take you for taking the time to read my story and to follow it. So, 'sweet,' of you of to follow my story because your stereotypical characteristics as a 'demon' says otherwise. Okay, I am done! I promise, maaaaybe. Just your name and this story, I can go so many ways with your name, but I've done enough, for now, :D

GaarasMyBoyzz: I hope we be thinking about the same Gaara because I am thinking about the one from Naruto. XD And guuuurl, Naruto used to be my show back in my more pre-buscent age. ;v; I mean I had a little Naruto and Sasuke figurines, oh, goodness,me. I remember liking Gaara because it is like he looked like he so needed a cuddle, and I wanted to give him one. He had a sad little past too, and I am a sucker for that. Honestly, though I sometimes pass by fanfictions of Naruto here and there because I haven't really went through the phase of reading them? Like. I haven't actively searched for them. I remember some authors I follows writer about them...so I sometimes look yo fabrics of fandoms I still remember enough about. :) so, shh, if you still like Naruto( I am hoping that you are talking about anyway) that be kay kay, or if you felt like I was bashing it, nah, I wasn't. :) anywaaaay,thank you for the follow! I hope I didn't disappoint with the latest chapters!

Akiko Gasuki: oh, you is so kind, it breaks my heart in a good and happy way. I am glad and just- another...ah, another! You said another nicely written chapter, and that's what got me. ./. I am so glad that Olivia is being a likeable character because usually OC stories aren't taken well...so, I was that Olivia was a bearable character. I am happy to know that she is being taken well. Honey, Castiel's eyes, they is just so gorgeous, I think everybody would agree. I am glad my pace is okay, and I will keep going the way I am going...and see how it turns out(pace-wise, I have an idea of where I want this to go, just not down to the nitty gritty of how each chapter would play out). Oh, you did?! Ah, w you are the second person who said that! I was worried I got Dean baby wrong. I am glad people loved that moment~ I hope that I can manage writing another cute fluffy moment like that again~ thank you so much for your review!

SevSnape4ever: maybe, you mean 5ever because that is definitely and most certainly more than 4ever, :) Anyway, is you a nice Harry Potter fan. I hope your name don't be deceiving. I loooove Harry Potter, I do, oh most certainly, fo' sure. Soooo, out of curiosity, who do you ship? :) I will be excited if we share some ships because then we can recommend each other some stories. I used to know which ones I liked because I bookmarked them, but they gone. :I it is okay, I still read Harry Potter fanfics, I will find some to share. Thank you for the follow! I hope to see you again for continued support? :)

Chrislover4ever: oh, the forevers are up in this place. XD Anyway, maybe, you meant 5ever like SevSnape4ever up there too. Because 5ever is more than 4ever. When I see Crhis, I think of Chris Colfer( Kurt) from Glee. Maybe not. I am usually bad with names, but I remember his, he be lucky. Anyway, thanks, for the follow! I appreciate it, and I hope to see you again~

SamJake: I see Sam, and I think of Supernatural, Tomb Raider(2013) Lara Croft's biffle, Sam, and Sam from iCarly. That's what I got. Jake, oh, there is so many. "ORZ but I can't pinpoint them. For some reason, I remember American Dragon...Jake Long, was his name? Anyway, there are other Jakes that I know, and I am not getting the feeling that you are talking about any of those Sams or Jakes. Thanks, for the favorite!

Ayice: Sshh, baby, *holds you close 5ever* you know there is no words. You know that I love you. Thank you, you motivate me so much, and I appreciate it when you read my stuff for me. I am glad to have an amazing friend like you that I can confide in with my work. ;) I hope your fanfic gets many reviews because you deserve it baby.

AcelticDream: oh, I am chugging ever so slowly, baby, but what time is it?' Summer time! :) well, not technically, but I am already off on break. :) so, I hope HOPE that means many updates. More than before.

Sassi15: is you the sassy Sam? Sassi, I hope you continue to follow and support this story. I appreciate your favorite and follow! Thank you soooo much. I am glad to see continued support or this story. I hope to see you again~


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